Arsenal
The last time Arsenal beat Bayern away from home, the Gunners absolutely sh*thoused their way to victory. The perfect away performance in so many ways.
Arsenal only took five shots, compared to Bayern’s 21. They had less possession and made fewer passes, but they also made way more defensive clearances, committed 25 (twenty-five) fouls and picked up six yellow cards. You absolutely love to see it.
Crucially, the Arsenal scored two goals, and Bayern scored zero.
That was 11 years ago, back in 2013. Both sides are much changed, now (although Tommy Muller is still in Bavaria and you’d imagine he will be until the sun implodes or society collapses). What became of the Arsenal XI that defeated might Bayern in their own backyard that day?
GK: Lukasz Fabianski
Fabianski only played one European game for the Gunners in 2012-13, and this was it. A clean sheet against Bayern Munich = an assignment passed as far as we’re concerned.
After a few seasons with Swansea, the Pole is now in his sixth season with West Ham, but has recently fallen behind Alphonse Areola in the pecking order. At 38, we could be nearing the end of the Fabianski era.
RB: Carl Jenkinson
It never really happened for Carl at Arsenal. He’s living it up in the Australian sun, now, with Newcastle Jets. Nevertheless, here are some fun facts about Carl Jenkinson:
Carl once scored a goal for Finland Under-19s (his mother is Finnish-Swedish). He also played a competitive match for England Under-21s against Finland Under-21s, for whom he had also played previously. If he’d scored, he might have been one of the only ever international footballers to respectfully not celebrate against his former team.
CB: Per Mertesacker
The Big F*cking German (that’s an affectionate nickname from his own fans, we’re not taking the p*ss) retired at Arsenal and his now manager of their academy.
Per set up a charity to help sportspeople suffering with mental illness, and disadvantaged people in general, especially immigrants. Big up the BFG.
TRY A QUIZ: Can you name every Arsenal manager of the post-war era?
CB: Laurent Koscielny
The cat to Mertesacker’s dog retired just two years ago after three seasons with Bordeaux back in France. Koscielny appears to be enjoying a bit of quiet following a fairly turbulent last season in Bordeaux. Koscielny was one of the scorers in that big game in Munich.
LB: Kieran Gibbs
Following a long career at Arsenal and then West Brom, Gibbs spent a couple of years living it up in Miami with the flamingo boys. His contract was terminated last year and he’s now part of Inter Miami’s broadcasting team.
We reckon he’s got it all figured out, to be honest. Worse ways to live your life.
CM: Mikel Arteta
Arteta has done nothing since playing for Arsenal. Not sure what he’s up to, these days. Assuming he went back to San Sebastian to spend some time with his family.
Just kidding, aren’t we? Calm down. Just a bit of fun.
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TRY A QUIZ: Can you name every player to score 5+ Champions League goals for Arsenal?
CM: Aaron Ramsey (Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain ’72)
The Welsh legend is now back in Cardiff, having enrolled his son into their academy. Ramsey spent a few years in Turin with Juventus before enjoying a spell with Nice in the South of France.
Unfortunately, Aaron is injured again. He is an extremely injured man. Still, some career.
Meanwhile, Oxlade-Chamberlain moved to Liverpool in 2017 and was part of their great success under Jurgen Klopp.
Sadly, injuries limited his involvement at Anfield and the midfielder relocated to Turkey in 2023 as he joined Besiktas.
RW: Theo Walcott (Gervinho ’72)
The rapid winger and renowned children’s author hung up his boots at the back end of last year. Difficult to get our head round that because he’s still 16 in our brain.
Theo is trying his hand at broadcasting, these days. We’re still waiting on the sequel to T.J. and the Cup Run.
Gervinho became a byword for frustration and inconsistency during his time at the Emirates, shapeshifting between Champions League quality and Sunday League performances in the manner of somebody pressing the shuffle button on their iPod.
After two years in England, the Ivorian was sold to Roma before a spell in China during their ‘Saudi’ period. Now 36, Gervinho last played in Greece for Aris Thessaloniki.
TRY A QUIZ: Can you name Arsenal’s 20 youngest Premier League debutants?
CAM: Tomas Rosicky
The super-talented number 10 went back to his boyhood club for a couple of years before retiring in 2017. A tale as old as time.
Fun fact: When Tomas sustained some sort of hamstring injury from hell that kept him out of the Arsenal team for 18 months, he spent his time practising guitar, and performed with a famous Czech punk band called Tri sestry.
LW: Santi Cazorla
If Santi Cazorla was a centipede, he still wouldn’t have a week foot.
He’s still playing at the age of 39, which we love. He’s in Oviedo, his childhood club which has shares in, and is on minimum wage there (still €91,000 per year… might see if they need a copywriter).
Santi also has a dog called Zlatan, which we’re assuming has two good right feet and two good left feet.
ST: Olivier Giroud
France’s all-time top scorer is still doing the business for AC Milan at the age of 37, and he still looks bloody gorgeous doing it. He was the other scorer for Arsenal on that night in 2013.
